…or not.  Why is it that some people believe they are receiving frequent signs from their dead loved ones and some of us never receive them?  I keep thinking if it was really possible why would Kiran leave me hanging?  Maybe that’s a big expectation for a three year old.  So then, I can’t believe Sekhar’s mom or my grandmothers wouldn’t send a little note or something.  Is that a lot to ask?

Maybe it’s the classic, believing is seeing.  So, if you think signs are possible then you might see them everywhere.  I admit it would probably take an incredible sign for me to believe it was really a sign.  I am married to a scientist.  Generally, we’re proof kind of folk…like, can it be solved with an equation?

One of the more veteran members of my group once said that he doesn’t think he gets signs from his child, but he does appreciate anything that reminds him of his child.  I let that guide me.  I haven’t heard anything that fits me better, so I’ll stick with that until something better comes along.  So, I just appreciate things that remind me of Kiran.

I think maybe I have had some experiences which others would consider signs, but I think are coincidences…and since they remind me of Kiran they made me happy.   One day I was at a grocery store in Cambridge and the cashier was an older Indian woman, her name tag said “Kiran.”  I wanted to tell her my son’s name was Kiran, but then I knew she would probably ask me how old he was and I didn’t have the energy to answer honestly or to lie.  I just started bagging my own groceries, when a young Indian man came up behind me and said “let me do that for you.”  I looked at his name tag and it also said “Kiran.”  I let him help and I just smiled.  I remembered my boy because he was also a big helper.  I didn’t think it was a sign, and still don’t, but when I told others some did think so.

Hmmm.