Are you ever watching TV, driving your car, working, eating, walking, reading, talking to a friend, and a random memory pops into your head? Just all of a sudden you remember something from elementary school, college, a movie, a family gathering, a decades old conversation. What made you think of that, at this moment?

It happens in grief all the time. Without forethought a picture comes to mind. It doesn’t discriminate where you are or what you are doing. It just happens.

Recently, I was in a large training session and I had a full on sensory memory. Every afternoon Kiran would come home from pre-school and before his nap we needed a bit of down time. I would let him pick a video and we would sit on the floor together and watch. He would put his head on my lap and I would rub his head, play with his hair. It was our special time together.

Right in the middle of this meeting I can remember the feel of the weight of his head on my lap, his fine, soft hair (like mine) in my fingers. The sense that sometimes comes in the presence of your child, of peace.

Tears sting my eyes, but I sit still, and let it happen. The memory envelopes my whole body. It’s just a moment. I let a few tears slide, slowly, and then I am back in the meeting.